Learning and growing everyday...

Anyone who is reading this...thank you ahead of time. I am such a scatterbrain, and am all over the place. So enjoy yourself while you hop all over the place. :)

Someone posted the testimony of Zac Smith on facebook. Zac was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. He ended up going to be with Jesus this past Sunday, May 16th. Even though our circumstances are completely different, I feel I can relate to him and his choice to be strong and rejoice no matter what.



I have made the choice to rejoice and know that God is God, and God is good...no matter what my situation looks like.

I think we often forget that this life on earth is temporary. Heaven is where I'm going, and life there is eternal. Things happen on this earth that we don't understand, and it can be tough...but where I'm going is so much better. I have something to look forward to. Death cannot take away what is already His. To God be the glory, always! Brielle was His LONG before she was mine, and even in her death...God still won. That is what I have been saying with Sam's death too. God would have won with healing Sam, or taking him home. The devil has still lost.

In one of my previous posts, I said that I felt like I had been prepared for this miscarriage...the same way I had been prepared for Brielle's death. Today I was talking to one of my friends, and she reminded me that fear and tormenting is NOT from God. When God prepares you for things, you should have peace about it. The devil had really tricked me into believing that I had been prepared for the miscarriage. I had so much fear, and was really being tormented...and during the midst of it I KNEW it was an attack, that it was from the enemy. All of that to say....with Brielle, God definitely prepared me. I had a supernatural peace. With this miscarriage I had fear, that was not preparation...it was the beginning of the attack. And I will say right here and now...that I WILL NOT be fearful in my future pregnancies. I take those thoughts from the enemy captive, and they will stop right here.

I will go on to have healthy pregnancies, and healthy babies. I am already a mommy...but I WILL have babies to hold in my arms.

Our plan does not always line up with God's plan and that can be super hard to wrap your mind around. It's like...okay God, I get that but if you just SHOW me your plan, then I'll align mine up with it. I believe though that there are simply some things that God can't show us until we've been brought through them AND if you are not still and listening to His voice, how can you hear His plan for your life?

Psalm 46:10-- Be still and know that I am God.
Wow...so simple yet so complex. BE still and KNOW, no matter what I am going through, no matter how bad my heart hurts or my circumstance stinks...that YOU are God...and you're good. That you love me more than my heart can even fathom. That the love I have for my husband (which is quite a bit, I think personally (; ) is NOTHING compared to your love for me.


Thank you Lord for being God and for being a good God, and for loving me, even in my ugly moments, even when I question you. Thank you for being patient with me, and helping me know truth...YOUR TRUTH. You're good.