Growth

Today is my anniversary of being married to my wonderful husband for 3 years. It has been THE best 3 years of my life. When we got married 3 years ago, I would have never imagined our life taking some of the twists and turns it has over the past 7 months especially.

If you look at everything we've been through..the non-christian (and maybe christian too, ha) would think that we have come across A LOT of bad luck.

-Steve gets laid off from his job while I am 8 months pregnant.
-We found out that our beautiful daughter Brielle was very sick, and actually ended up going to be with Jesus very suddenly after only being born 4 days previously.
-Steve gets in an accident and totals his car, leaving us with 1 car.
-I miscarry the same week of the accident, after finding out we were pregnant.

Ok, now some of the GOOD that has come out of this...

-If Steve hadn't got laid off he probably would have never left that job. It was comfortable for him. We get to spend LOTS more time together since he is not working nights, and now he is working for Qwest...something that probably wouldn't have happened if he had stayed at Rez.

-Brielle, in her life and death has taught me more about life, more about the Father's love, and more about God's grace than I ever would have learned had she not died. I would MUCH rather have her in my arms rather than in God's, but I'm choosing to look on the bright side.

-With Steve's accident and leaving us to one car, we are saving a lot of money on gas, and insurance. I don't have a job right now anyways, so it leaves me stranded but that's ok.

-My miscarriage. I really don't know if I will fully ever understand the question of WHY? but I have stopped asking. It will not get me anywhere. What I have decided is that I had blocked out some of my grief from Brielle dying, and with my miscarriage I was forced to deal with things that I had chosen not to deal with. I don't know when I would have dealt with some of the things I needed to with Brielle dying if I hadn't have had my miscarriage, but it is just not healthy to keep things inside and I know that I had locked things up and put on my happy face.

Those are just a few of the good things that came to mind.

I just know that I have grown a lot in the last 7 months...definitely in ways I would have never imagined happening to me. I feel blessed though. I have insight on some things at 23, that some people don't find out for years...if ever. All of the things I have gone through, have made me a better wife, a better daughter, a more "loyal" follower of Christ, and it will make me a better mother.

I am blessed that I have been able to go through this season of hardship and growth with my wonderful husband. I wouldn't choose any one else to go through this adventure (roller coaster) we call Life. Happy Anniversary babe, I love you!